A short animated RSA piece with Dr Brene Brown's voiceover on the difference between empathy and sympathy. She argues that real connection requires getting in touch with your own vulnerability, rather than trying to fix someone's pain.
Why Hacker News points people here: Recommended as a quick, memorable explanation of how to support someone in pain without making it about yourself.
“the video was still useful for me. It's less than 3 minutes long.”HN comment, 2020
“her books have made me a better friend when my friends are in pain.”
Brown's research-based work improves how you support friends
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Most of what I read is related to startups or economics, but for the short list of change-my-life books: This year I read a lot about what you might loosely call the Paleo movement / anti-carbs and sugar movement. The New Evolution Diet , The Primal Blueprint , books by Gary Taubes, and so on. I think this is going to change how I eat and exercise forever. The Gift of Imperfection and other works by Brené Brown. Lately this is being promoted by Oprah, which isn't usually a good sign. I think it stands apart because it's not theory or poetry; it's based on some solid research on what people living more productive and satisfying lives are actually doing. If nothing else, her books have made me a better friend when my friends are in pain. this video
RecommendsandrewtbhamJan 2016
“If you're interested in empathy, I suggest you watch this brenee brown video.”
Brown's research on shame and vulnerability, relevant to empathy
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I'm unsure how this anecdote proves anything about a correlation between empathy and wealth. Whether you are rich or poor, you can have empathy. If you're interested in empathy, I suggest you watch this brenee brown video. The video may seem anecdotal but she has done a lot of research about shame and vulnerability and... having read her books, money is not something that comes up in the research. this video
RecommendsrpdillonOct 2020
“the video was still useful for me. It's less than 3 minutes long.”
Under three minutes on connection versus problem-solving
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My employer had me go through training that had this video as part of the curriculum. Though I already understood the ideas, the video was still useful for me. It's less than 3 minutes long. this video In short, sometimes people need connection to others; problem-solving mode isn't always the most useful path.
Cites itjustanothertaOct 2014
Linked as illustration of empathy for sufferers of madness
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Yes, there are certainly many different types of "madness". The "layer of abstraction" that the specific variety of madness imparts on the holder is their own reality. The hypothetical accepted objective true reality is irrelevant to them. While this true reality is the standard with which to measure the conduct of people's behavior, if you are to preserve the emotional well being of the suffer of madness it would be helpful to communicate and act in a way which is consistent with their own subjective reality. By delving into their madness you can understand their behavior and actions more than understanding it from an outside perspective. If the goal is to simply enforce external standards this empathy is a waste of resources. But if preserving their emotional well being is a concern empathy can be a useful tool to both understand their perspective and guide you in your interactions with the sufferer. this video At the very least I think it would have been nice if the hoarder in this story was taken away to alternate accommodations for the duration of the clean up. Terrible that she had to witness the event.
Cites itsnthdJan 2019
“someone supporting you shouldn't be making it about them”
Illustrates that support shouldn't turn into making it about yourself
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The problem is not that the comparison is valid or invalid, but that someone supporting you shouldn't be making it about them . Brené Brown on Empathy - The RSA this video
