28.2M views · Feb 17, 2019 · 13:07 · 4 HN recommenders · 6 mentions · discussed 2019–2022
Kurzgesagt explains why humans feel loneliness, its evolutionary role, and how modern life can turn it into a harmful downward spiral. It cites research and offers ideas on what to do about it.
Why Hacker News points people here: Shared in loneliness threads as a well-sourced, empathetic explanation, including for people struggling with it.
“had an excellent research report as video summarizing loneliness”HN comment, 2019
“had an excellent research report as video summarizing loneliness”
Excellent research-backed video summarizing loneliness with sources.
Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell had an excellent research report as video summarizing loneliness, published earlier this year [0] with sources linking to the facts in the video [1]. [0]: this video [1]: link
“Kurzgesagt had a really great video[1] on loneliness that described the downward spiral that people find themselves in.”
Describes the downward spiral people with loneliness fall into.
Kurzgesagt had a really great video[1] on loneliness that described the downward spiral that people find themselves in. > > The controversial implication is that depressed people deliberately act in ways that are likely to maintain their low mood. > How is this remotely controversial? Finding something you like is not the same as liking your state or disposition for depression. i think that is controversial because it assigns agency to the person experiencing the depression, that they are causing their own depression. but the most common complaint from people with depression is that people are always telling them to "just cheer up" etc etc. this is the same sentiment in a specific context. "if you just didn't listen to depressing music all the time, maybe you wouldn't be so depressed." [1] this video
“Great explanation on why we should simply treat loneliness like a symptom of being hungry.”
Explains treating loneliness like a symptom, such as hunger.
Great explanation on why we should simply treat loneliness like a symptom of being hungry. As you form healthier habits in general around socializing, the person becomes more whole and in doing so you grant yourself additional opportunities to meet people, engage in conversation, and increase the probability of friendships and relationships. this video The other thought process I've been subscribing to lately is the idea that you have to actually become the kind of person that "can socialize" or that "can be friendly" before you suddenly find yourself in: a friendship, a relationship, a marriage, a solid social network. None of these things come over night and they certainly don't come easy for people who are stricken with the habit of isolation. Once you make decisions and form actual habits around trying to be friendly to other people: - put yourself in a situation where you have the opportunity at all to socialize (a store, a coffeeshop, a restaurant, a club, a meetup). Socializing doesn't mean you have to be friends with the person, it seems to be about just being the kind of person who is even able at all to be friendly - make an observation (the weather, the environment around you, the place you're at, something someone is wearing, a pin, a shoe, an outfit, a drink, a dog... whatever - just make any observation at all and comment on it) - listen (observe how the other person make the same or differing observations; listen to any other observation other people make, interna
“there is a really nice video about loniless. Maybe it does help you in the short term too.”
A really nice video on loneliness that may help short-term.
Sorry for the YT link but from "Kurzgesagt - in a nutshell" there is a really nice video about loniless. Maybe it does help you in the short term too. this video
“One piece of content in favor of my point”
Supports point that humans depend on care and community.
I think you lack compassion in your wording. We have evolved as social creatures, and we care for each other. We depend on each other in millions of ways, in millions of varieties. I would bet you too would die, or have died, without some care at key points in your life. It takes a village to raise a child. I argue it takes one to keep a human alive and healthy too. One piece of content in favor of my point: this video There's no need for people to be able to survive without care. And yes my society values individualism, but we should be able to critique it, and ask where that emerges from.
“Kurz Gesagt explains this dynamic in more detail.”
Explains the evolutionary drive to belong to a tribe.
It's hyperbole, but it still indicates a hidden very real and well known social dynamic: humans have an intrinsic drive to belong to a tribe. This is a very real behavioral mechanism which was essential to human survival as early as the paleolithicum and the emergence of the first hominid species. Not belonging to a tribe meant being exposed to hardships that you might not survive. Feeling lonely is part of that mechanism. That's your subconscious kicking you into high gear and go seek companionship in order to ensure your chances to survive as an individual. Kurz Gesagt explains this dynamic in more detail. [1] [1] this video Modern technology, industrialisation and social advancements in healthcare, politics, law enforcement and agriculture have created circumstances in which you don't need to physically belong to a tribe 24/7 in order to survive. You can perfectly live alone and have your basic needs covered. However, that drive for social connection is still there. That's hard wired into us. And that's what social media companies are exploiting. Fear of missing out is exactly that. You don't want to be "out of the loop", you don't want to miss out on what's going on, you don't want to find yourself "outside" of a group. Think about how it was when you were in school, and you found out your friends had a get-together over the weekend and you weren't invited: it totally sucked. Well, that's basically that primitive part of your brain kicking into high gear, warning you that yo
